Christmas Candy

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A few years ago, a friend of mine was telling me how her husband wears leopard briefs when he thinks he is going to get “lucky”. Being that natural smartass that I am, I came up with a Christmas poem for her. I hope you all enjoy it as much as she did.

                                             Christmas Candy

Twas the eve before Christmas and Candy was enjoying her wine,

“One more bottle and I think I will be just fine.”

When out on the lawn there rose such a mob,

They came with their torches and screams. Their fearless leader was no other than Bob.

Candy crept to the window with loaded gun,

She thought to herself “Well this should be fun!”

With a sip of wine and a wicked grin,

Candy swung open the window, anticipating the fun that was about to begin.

Before she pulled the trigger, a soft song penetrated her ear,

 What she thought was a mob, was a group of carolers spreading Christmas Cheer.

Candy took a deep breath and a sigh of relief,

Until she saw Bob in his leopard briefs!

She shook her head and raised her gun,

“Maybe this Christmas, I will have a little fun.”

With a pull of the trigger and with a boom from the shells,

Candy shot Bob right in the Christmas Bells!

She looked back and saw Tyler, Kyle and Joe,

They walked in just in time to see the whole show.

She was laughing so hard, she had to wipe a tear,

Candy said to the boys “Maybe he will just buy me diamonds next year!”


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